Are our lives truly predetermined before our existence even begins? Do we go through our lives without realizing that a goal has already been set for us, that we already have a purpose in this life despite what we may end up choosing for ourselves? The possibility of this ties directly into the concept of fate and destiny, do they exist and do they truly control the entire outcome of our lives?
This topic stems from discussion which Kyle and I were deeply engaged in yesterday evening. The discussion centered around the situation in which we met one another and how we, as a couple, came to be. Our relationship began from an online dating website and the aforementioned discussion centered around other attempts from the same website made primarily by Kyle. He was telling me about other women he had been speaking to on the site and whom he had sought out dates with, most of them not working out in the end. One woman he mentioned he had two dates with and had been hoping for more but after the second date she cut-off all contact. Upon hearing this my curiosity grew and so I inquired further, wanting to know why he thought she stopped communications and if he had been hurt by this. He assured me it was no loss to him and it really did not affect him all that much. This lead to talk of things being "meant to be", to which I laughed. And my response to Kyle was, "Kyle, I know for a fact that you do not believe in fate and in things being 'meant to be'" to which he responded that I was indeed correct, that he did not per-say believe in fate and destiny, to him situations happen more out of your circumstance and perhaps even just some sheer dumb luck. He referenced this by telling me, "I haven't done the things I've done in my life because I was 'destined' to do them or anything like that, things that have happened to me and been given to me happened because I was fortunate enough to be raised with parents that could afford to and were able to help and guide me. It has all happened because I was fortunate enough to not have been born in a hut in the middle of Africa. Other things in my life I believe are attributed to luck also, such as the fact that you have come into my life, that is purely me getting lucky."
Our conversation continued after that and I have to admit that these ideas of fate and destiny have been on my mind ever since. It made me think, what is my opinion of the concepts of fate and destiny? Do these two ideas truly exist in this world, or is all that happens to us in our lives simply attributed to luck and/or circumstance? My own belief has changed over the course of my life up until this point. When I was young, even a teenager, especially when it came to love I was big into the idea of fate and destiny. The old school romantic kind of thing, that you're destined to find one person and be with them for the rest of your life. And when you do meet that person, its because you were fated to cross paths with them and end up spending your life with that person. Now that I am older and have seen what I have in my so far short life, I am less and less sure that this is truly how the world works and it is more luck, chance and circumstance than anything else.
When you find yourself in a certain place in a certain moment, are you there because it was predetermined for you to be there at that particular moment? In my own opinion, no it is not. You are there because you need to be there for some reason, to get something, to see someone or whatever. You were not fated to be there before you even came into existence, it was not destiny that you were in that place at that time and bumped elbows with that one person and from then on whatever happened, happened.
My conversation with Kyle I feel truly solidified my own opinion of the concepts of fate & destiny and it is reassuring and refreshing to know that my partner and I are on the same page in that particular aspect of our beliefs. I wish I could truly believe that Kyle and I were fated to end up finding one another and being together, but when I truly look at the idea behind destiny and fate, it just does not sit right with me, it doesn't make logical sense. We met purely because of luck, chance, circumstance and the fact that we were both seeking something in another person. I wish we had been destined to fall in love with one another, but in my heart I do not think that way.
We simply got lucky. :)
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